"They say that the devil created suffering in this world. I always cringe at the notion. No, the devil didn't create suffering in this world. It is not their method, you see. Why do you waste your time tormenting a man who is fighting for the common goods? Why do you waste your time tormenting a man who is content enough to die at any time?
"No. The devil is picky. They only chose those who are already at the brink of insanity before they sink their teeths on them. Long before the victim was tortured, his face must already be contorted with anguish. And he must not be a virtuous man, contrary to popular beliefs, else he will have something to grab onto. When all these conditions are met, and only then, will you go into the details of torture.
"These are the methods of the devil. My methods. I have caused many tortured souls in these world to go pass the boundary of pain. Even now I can hear them squeal, their nonsensical babbling as my tools cut them open. They always degrade into a ball of pure pain, agony and anguish when i'm working on them. I never finished the deed. They always finished the deed themselves.
"Why? More like : why not? There are too many people in this world. Why do God care if i took some of them, which are the lowest of the low, for my own amusement? And also, you just have to try it sometimes. It's 'the' best feeling in the world! And that, officer, is my story."
The officer drank his cup. He seemed a little excited, shifting on his seat a view times during the exposition. Very good, very good. "Marvelous! You are just what i am looking for!" Suddenly, the interrogation room went dark. The officer figure got bigger and bigger, until it filled half the room. Then a booming and crispy voice, "You truly understands me! I am truly pleased! Tell me your wish, and i will grant you your heart's desire!" From the darkness his bright red, scaly skin was still very noticeable.
The one being interrogated, namely Ash, was gaping. The devil himself saluted him on his effort. He is honored, no ... he is humbled. It seemed like his devil philosophy was spot on. He stood, forcing a calm composure. "Anything? I can have anything i want?"
"Name it, my friend! Name it!"
Ash didn't have to ponder long before an idea sprang to his head. "I want that crown, and that trisula of yours!" he said. From the dark, he could faintly saw the devil's contorted face. He thought he might just jizzed his pants.