"Alright, I'll tell you, but you can't laugh."

"I'm not going to laugh."

"You are totally going to laugh, and then I'm going to get embarrassed and hate you forever." She glanced around. "Who brought up this topic, anyway?"

"You did, we were talking about my power and then you asked me how old I was when I chose." I leaned forward. "Come on now, you already said you were four at the time, you can't just leave me hanging!"

There was a pause.

"So, do you remember that show that was on when we were kids, Sparkle Princess?"

I had a vague recollection of gamboling kittens, lots of pink, and, of course, sparkles.

"Well, I was obsessed. And, you know how Sparkle Princess had a magic wand on the show, right? Well, they had these toy wands in the stores, you know, cheap plastic crap, you wave it, it plays a noise and lights up. My parents refused to get me one and I threw a fit, rolling around on the floor kicking and screaming, right there in the toy aisle. So my parents brought me home and sent me to my room, and what did I do? Sat right down on the floor and wished, with all the power of my little four-year-old will, for my very own Sparkle Princess wand."

I snorted. "So, what, you still have it today?"

"Hey, I told you not to laugh!" She started to rummage around in her sensible brown leather purse. "Anyway, I was four. I didn't realize that the toy wands in the store weren't actually magical."

She pulled the wand out of her bag. The shiny pink paint had rubbed off in spots, leaving black splotches of bare plastic. The large star adorning the tip was dolloped with hot glue where the sequins had fallen off, been glued back on, and fallen off again. "So, do you want to see a spell?"

"Wait, you can actually do magic?"

"Watch this." She raised the wand and began to chant

I call upon my princess powers in this dark and desperate hour With all my Sparkle Princess cheer, I wish for some money to appear!

The tiny light bulb on the tip of the wand blinked a few times mournfully. The tinny speaker played a snippet of the Sparkle Princess theme song, slowed down to the pace of a funeral dirge. A few dollars and change appeared on the table between us.

"What!? You can just get money whenever you want? Screw talking to animals, you must be a millionaire by now!"

"Well," she looked down and fiddled with the wand in her hands. "You know powers don't really work that way. It's great for getting the change for bus fare, but using it even once completely drains the batteries, and the new batteries always cost more than the amount of money you get from the spell."

"Stanislav's law of conjured materials, huh?"

"Yup"

We sat in silence for a moment.

"You know," I said, "when cats yowl in the middle of night, be really thankful you can't hear what they're actually saying. Dirty little bastards."

She laughed. "Come on, you know you're into it, nature boy."

"Oh, shut up Sparkle Princess."