"Get up, Milly, yes it's morning, already, what did you expect, quit whining, we have to clean you up because it smells in here, goodness..."

My hands go right through Milly when I attempt to shake her awake. She's groaning, her eyes tightly shut, her mouth wide open. She's swatting at me as if I'm some bothersome fly but her hand goes right through me as well. We can't touch each other

"Go... away... Milly," Milly says in her voice that sounds like she's choking. "It... still... night..."

"Not if you open your eyes it isn't," I say and I open the curtains, letting in a burst of sunlight. Weirdly, I can't go through walls and can touch solid things but I can't touch my own dead walking body, probably because of some life and death regulation or whatever. "Ooh that's too bright, isn't it," I add when Milly starts screaming like she's getting murdered and shields her eyes.

I get a hold of the sticks with mechanical hands at their hands. I use them to feed Milly, to wipe her arse and to prod her in the direction I need her to go to or . This time it's bathroom. It takes time to settle her in the tub but I have the patience. I was a nurse at an old people's home so I'm used to making grumpy people do what they have to do even if they don't like it.

We live in an abandoned farm house. Stretching for yards around the house is uncultivated land. Beyond this is a bit of forest and then a village of people suddenly appears, uneven cobblestone and playing children and reprimanding mothers everywhere, and this is where I get food for Milly. At this point, seeing how much she's gained weight, I think I need to get Milly on a diet, or at least I should get her food less frequently. She'll complain but when I'm back in my body I don't want to immediately die again from a stroke again, do I?

"Stay in the bathtub, no stay in there, I'm going to get food. No, don't follow me, stay in the bathtub. If you follow me, no food, alright? You wouldn't like that now would you dear? Yes, get in there, good girl, there's a good girl..."

The food is people. Yep, Milly eats people, she won't settle for anything else. There's deer and rabbits and wild poultry in the countryside but no, she says it all tastes awful and reminds her of bad things. I had a bit of a breakdown when I realised I actually had to kill people for my body not to waste away and die. It was either them or me. I'm not selfish, but it's survival of the fittest isn't it? I mean a mother eagle will neglect and sometimes eat the weaker of her babies in trying times if she has to. It's all for the best of the strongest, thats how nature works, screw murder laws? Right?

I'm thinking about these justifications as I creep up from behind the man. He's collecting firewood at the edge of the forest and he is alone. Stupid. Hasn't he heard of those 21 missing people?

He turns around looking worried when I rustle past a bush, at least he's on high alert, but what makes me stop is seeing his face. Oh my word. He's absolutely gorgeous. Big eyes, long nose, a rough beard. What is this I'm feeling: am I actually turned on? I'm invisible right now but I can just flip on a mental switch and then just like that the living can see me. Without thinking, as if underneath some weird love spell, I smooth out my hair and make myself visible.

It all goes badly. His eyes widen, he drops the firewood, starts screaming on top of his voice and then, in a panic, I have to bludgeon him with his axe to silence him before his neighbors hear anything, and then he's choking on his blood, ugh. What a mess, what a failure. Did I really think he'd look me up and down, put his hands on his hips and whistle? I drag the body back to the farmhouse, cursing under my breath. When I get there Milly is standing in the kitchen facing a wall, not moving a muscle or making a sound.

"Milly! Food, sit! Sit down Milly. You can start with the face, I don't want to keep looking at it. Yes, I know he's gorgeous, here, let me cut that up for you, the axe only did half the job for us..."

It's around midnight and we're sleeping in our bed. And then I wake when I hear something outside. Something monumental, like a thousand flies buzzing in the air. I don't have bones, but the sound is making it feel like bones are being rattled inside my body. And then a weak light appears from behind the curtains. I walk toward the window and push the curtains back in this dramatic way as if my whole existence was somehow tied to this moment. I could see a glowing sheet in the horizon approaching us. They were coming for us. I woke Milly up, and told her that we had to leave urgently before it was too late