[WP] You've been getting ridiculous prank calls all week from an unknown number. Your phone rings as you sit to watch the evening news; tonight's headline: PRANK CALL KILLER STILL ON THE LOOSE. You put the phone to your ear and hear a doorbell as yours also rings

THUMP THUMP THUMP

I look at my phone--Unknown Number--is it him? It could just be a telemarketer, I get those calls as often. No, it's him, if the universe has a sense of humor it would be him. This is getting rediculous. I silence the angry buzzing of my phone.

THUMP THUMP THUMP

A voice shouts outside, "Hey open up, I can see your lights on dude! Am I going to have to break down the door? I've done it before!"

This is bad. I glance at the television, "...TWELVE VICTIMS FOUND SO FAR, VIEWERS ARE ENCOURAGED TO REPORT ANY STRANGE CALLS TO THE AUTHORITIES... IF SOMEONE ENTERS YOUR HOME FIND A SAFE PLACE TO WAIT FOR THE POLICE AND DIAL 911..." A hiding place, good idea I need to find a hidin--

THUMP THUMP THUMP

"This is getting really fucking old bro! I'm not waiting out here forever." I dash over to the coat closet and crawl to the back of the closet. "Fine! Have it your way!" THUMP This time the knock is much louder, he must be trying to kick in the door.

"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK BRO!?" Stomping footsteps and the sounds of drpping water cross the living room towards the door; must have been a telemarketer then. The door slams open and I hear a grunt of surprise, "Oh sorry bro, didn't think you'd be in the shower."

"Goddammit Eric, if you've fucked up this door I'm going to kick your ass! The last one cost $400 to fix!"

"Bro chill out, it's fine, see?" The hinge cracks as Eric wiggles it back and forth. "It's fine."

"Look at the lock, you've fucked it all up! I'm not paying for this shit this time."

"What the fuck bro, I didnt do that shit, I barely even kicked the do-- Bro, who are you calling?"

"Shut the fuck up!"

My phone starts to buzz in my pocket and I quickly shut it off and smother a laugh. After a while it goes to voice mail.

"Hey bro! My door got all fucked up. I bet it was you wasn't it you fag. Did you miss me so much that you had to come fuck my doorknob with tour little needle dick just to make it through the day? I'm going to wreck your faggot ass for every dollar it takes to fix this door. I'll be talking to you real soon you dick eating faggot."

"Dude, that's--you're not the--I mean all those dead people..."

Laughter

"No Eric I'm not the fucking prank call killer, but scaring the shit outta some pussies that probably gargle taint water for fun is fucking hilarious! I had one faggot crying so hard I swear to god he pissed himself, I heard it splashing on the ground!"

"Bro that's fucking twisted. I'm out."

"Eric don't be a bitch. And you still owe me a lock bro."

"I didn't break your goddamn lock, fuck off you sick faggot!" The door slams as Eric leaves.

My phone buzzes again, I answer it.

"Oh finally decide to talk to me again you fucking fairy? Gonna beg for your life? Did not like my message? "

The voice starts to retreat back towards the back of the house.

"I know you broke my lock trying to get your tiny dick off. Well I'm gonna shove tha--"

"Yes," I interrupt. As I walk out of the closet brandish my knife, "I did break your lock." I see the man slowly turn around, face masked by fear. "You should have seen my face the when I answered that first call." I smile. The man starts to scream.

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