If you don’t want to get a divorce than maybe separate from your husband for the time being? You’ll be a safe distance from him, and you both can try to work things out. He needs to fix whatever is broken in him to cause you to lash out and you, and your children. Make him earn the right to be a father, and earn back your love and respect. If he truly wants to grow spiritually and keep his family he would do everything possible to show he’s changing.

On the other hand if you feel unsafe for you and your children. Then I would divorce him. Pray for him to improve, forgive him, but move on with your life. No one should be subjected to abuse. Especially your children. I grew up in a emotionally toxic household always wanting my parents to get divorced. They never did, but they were both too stubborn to change/listen to each other. Not showing me and my sister what a godly partner/marriage should look like. So if your in a similar situation I really hope you’ll leave then. I’ll pray for you sister! I know it’s a hard decision, but God will help you!