“Twas the Night of Move In” – A Big Brother 18 Memoir
'Twas the night of move in, and all through the house, 12 house guests could be heard, revealing their lives on a couch
From a dog groomer, to a nutritionist, a clothing line designer we witnessed, A mathematician, a DJ, and even a gym manager from LA Fitness,
They nervously awaited, for the remaining four in the 500K chase, And out comes Nicole, James, Da'Vonne and Frank from a suitcase
The games quickly began, and; Into teams they split, Category 4 looked strong, And Big Sister was definitely the misfits.
We soon learned about, Team Unicorn's competitive spirit, And with Team Freakazoid lives on the line, Nicole's whine...we could already hear it.
But the first houseguest soon fell, as Corey proved he could hang on a tree, Glenn was forced back to Brooklyn, to cut hair and smell dog pee
But Category 4 who was safe, happy all dressed in blue, Got the first punishment of the season as they dressed in pixels, too
As always the girls tried to make an alliance, but by the boys they were toyed, And just like her sister’s drama began, as Tiffany became more paranoid.
The game was in full force, and Jozea was “the messiah”, he claimed, But after opening up his mouth, he only was able to have fifteen minutes of fame
Paulie’s rise to power began, and Mr. Arroyo’s challenge prowess made him an easy pick, To be an earlier loser this season—but little did we know it wouldn’t be the last of El-Fit-Vic
That Thursday night, a new ride-or-die clearly emerged, As Bridgette bounced her way into a HoH, and her friendship with Frank surged
“Mastermind” Frank thought he had, all the houseguest befuddled, So much in fact he told Bridgette that he put her and her best friend up secretly as they cuddled
Bridgette hurts her ankle, Paul’s beard is filled with glitter, And Big Meech is born and all we needed was Outback’s food and a beer pitcher.
The house began to turn on Frank and Bridgette, as they saw all their power, Finally Meech got some DRs, and Da’vonne was getting sour
The two of them crafted, a plan to give Bronte her last word, And this is when we all awkwardly heard her say “I am the secret nerd”
Category 4 couldn’t win with Frank, it could be any of other of the groups, “CONGRATULATIONS PAULIE, YOU ARE THE NEXT HOH!”…. Oops
But so it began the strong alliance of Paul and Paulie as P&P, But with the side-buzzed hair and cut-off sweatshirts, you never knew who it could be
This week had Tiffany blowing up, and Frank continued to give “pops”, But unlike his grand-mom and mom, Da’vonne asked him to stop.
The drama continued as Da’vonne stole gorillas, and Tiff didn’t win like her sister, OH MY GOD LOOK WHO IT IS….IT IS VICTOR!
In the disco-themed week, James won HOH as Nicole lied to everyone’s face, Michelle won OTEV, and Frank finally learned he was out of place.
And this is when we learned, who was this seasons mastermind, As Paul was the last to find out, but first the Secret Room he did find.
Frank began the game cocky, to be just like his coach Mike, Yep they are similar, he was a returnee and not in jury, and really are alike
Friendship claimed the HoH, with Paulie volunteering as a pawn acting so crass, Da’vonne was the back-door target, and Natalie won the Never-not Pass!
James and Natalie admitted their feelings, and their relationship began to transform, To everyone at home, we said “aw” and their love made us feel warm
After Da’vonne was kicked out to jury, the game got much more intense, Victor won HoH and put Zakiyah and Michelle on the defense
The King of Slidell, had his heart set on a plan, He wanted to remove the girls, under Paulie’s command
He threw beads at their faces, with his power he did gloat, Meanwhile James’ popularity won him the ability to cancel some votes
After Paulie did not give Z his veto, came the defining move of the season, The girls flipped the vote on Paulie with eviction-eve reasons
Nicorey on the outs, Corey stepped up his game not wanting to be on the block, Bridgette became a last minute evictee, and we heard Michelle in shock
Victor pulled out a win, Paulie was on the block, and so Paul and Pablo, Sang, “BLINDSIDED, FRIENSHIP BLINDSIDED…YOU’RE GOING HOME! OH!”
Nicole won safety and a costume, and Zingbot roasted the houseguests, But we all know the Nicole roast about Hayden was the best
Corey won a patriotard, and Paulie refused wave his flag and make his pies, He broke down so much that he even cried when he saw butterflies
Ziggy Marley came to the house, with a bunch of worthless carnival games, But amazingly this episode aired a week later and Paulie was edited out—such a shame
Paulie left the Big Brother house, and Natalie conquered the scary voice and black box, Michelle won the “C…O…HOH” and some tissues in a twist quite unorthodox
But after a week of Paul’s attempt at flipping the script & Victor proved he is unbelievable, As he showed with his competitive skills he is truly “uneVICtable”
Nicole took back the power, and Corey’s BB Bribe solidified the dominance, But unfortunately for Meech, a Final Four deal with Victor and Paul took prominence
In her infamous “Meech speech” she called everyone out before she did go, But she will forever be remembered in BB history for also evicting Pablo
Victor continued his competition streak, and wanted a little pay back from before, At the end of the week there would be three “showmances” no more
It was a tough week to watch, as the golden couple seemed to be falling apart, Cause everyone wanted James and Natalie to be together from their start
But after Natalie left, Nicorey flipped the script once again, One of the sitting ducks was likely going to see Julie Chen
4th time was not the charm for Victor, and the odds stacked against Paul were steep, But he came out and won a hilarious “What the Bleep”
With a veto about baseball, there lied Nicorey’s fate, Paul may have hit a homerun to win the veto, but on this season Corey also got to home plate
Corey shortly went home, and the final battle ensued, Cat endurance, roller coasters, and Jury Statements to conclude
Paul picked Nicole, and we had to say goodbye to James, Things were starting to feel sad—we were close to the end of the game.
Congratulations to Nicole on one of the closest victories, But Paul walks away being 50K richer and having the most friendships in history
Each and every year, viewers tune into a group of complete strangers locked-in; Yet this year the group seemed so authentic, it felt like they were a part of our kin
So we wish them the best, and love them whether they are fun, loving, quirky or mean; Because although polarizing, we will never forget the cast of Big Brother 18