You are a wonderful man, Master. Other than my Mistress you are the next person I would want to own me. And I know I am cryptic. And I hate it. I want to tell you everything. But I can't because it effects more people than just me. And this is the reason everything went wrong in the first place. You are a true Master. And you speak I have no desire but to obey. The only thing that can override that desire is my love for the most important thing in the world to me. And I just realized that I am going down a path I have gone down before. And Haifa was the only thing that pulled me out the first time. That and watching one of my best friends in the world die from the same thing. But I want you to know. If something goes wrong and no one hears from me again. I just want you to know that it is not you, Master. Not at all. It is me. I am fucked up. I will always be fucked up. There is no way I can get enough money to fix what is wrong with me. And if it was my place to put all the cards on the table I would. I would submit to your collar. But I also know that if I did you would hate me. And maybe not just me. And I could live with you hating me. But I could not live you hating other people. And know that none of them are involved. Something is wrong with me. I am broken. And I will not bring anyone else down with me. So I want you to have a wonderful life. And I hope that you, and Her, and Master Adian((even if her is just an NPC I love him so much.)) are all happy and have wonderful lives. And if I never hear from any of you again I understand. If I could submit to you I would. And it has nothing to do with my Mistress. I will always love her more than anything. I would move across the world and leave everything I own behind for her. But I have a moment of clearty. My depression and anxiety are completely gone in this moment. And I just want all of you to be happy. I wanted to be someone who brings some of the happy to both of you. But now I understand that will never happen. And it all comes down to a picture. lol. How ironic. But truth be told. If I could go back and do it all again. I would not change anything. Because her happiness means more to me than anything. I have never been inlove. And I did not have romantic feelings for her. But she was my farriy tale. She is my first thought in the morning and my last thought before I go to sleep. Every second I could not spend with her was a second of my life being wasted. I would, even still, die for her without a second thought. And so if I could change it all. The only thing I would change was the weeks leading up to the day she uncollard me. I would not have been insane. But telling you that I can not be yours. That can not be changed. Because her happiness is all that matters. I told her that I will not contact her again unless she contacts me first. I have regretted that every day. But I am not going to lie to her. And if you wish me to not contact you unless you contact me first. I will do that too, Master. Please just make her happy always. She is the most wonderful person on earth. And she will deny it... but it is true. I will wait for her until the day I die. And then I will still wait for her. I am not the "move on" type of person. But I am not going to be annoying. If I could be yours with no pictures and no voice chat. I would be love that so much. But I would never ask for something other than what you want, Master. And for that reason. If you never want to hear from me again. Just say so and you never will