To all of you. I'm sorry again. I just, I guess I wanted to say my last goodbyes and my last thank you. You know, this community has been the absolute best that I have known ever in my life, and I mean that. You guys have taught me, surprised me, entertained me, and shamed me in ways that I never thought possible; and I loved every minute of it since beta. There is a reason I spent so much time of my free time with so many of you, with so many outfits and so many people, and you know that's what makes Connery what it is. The community it is, and what happened, what I did to Connery and its community is the absolute worst choice I have ever made. Each and every one of you is what makes us who we are, and why I was so proud to stand with you, play with you, grow and learn with you.
I want to apologize that it took me so long to own up to my mistakes, the realization of the royal fuck up that I had made took my courage and sense of morality from me, and as such I'm ashamed. I'm ashamed of what happened, what I could of done to prevent it, and the very roll that I played in it all. I'm ashamed that I didn't speak up and apologize when I realized of how royally I fucked up and instead decided to dodge responsibility at first. My father taught me that if you can't own up to and learn from your mistakes, then maybe you're not quite ready to make them, that you are still a child. That night, well it's too late now you know. Hindsight is always 20/20 but forethought never is really thought of the moment. I didn't think about whose day these actions the group took would ruin, what it could mean for me, how I would feel after the fact, and what I had really been a party to.
The worse part is, I talked to Cbo that morning forgetting what had happened and he hit me right in the middle of my chest as I realized what had been done. The points he made, how he felt about those guys, how he felt about the outfit, what he had as a goal for Hyperion, for his friends for his outfit. It made me feel like the worst of the worst, the lowest of the low; and you know what, I was. There was no forgiving what I had a part in, and the actions I had taken ruined what a man, a outfits day. Their week, or month even. Our actions had a far reaching impact we had not thought of, and impacted more that we had thought for those involved. So Cbo, I'm sorry for the part I had to play, I'm not sure about the others, but I absolutely am, and always will be. To this day it's still my biggest regret, outshines my marriage 2 weeks later in that I still remembered it, my birthday, and everything continuing to this day. I'm sorry, and always will be. I don't expect forgiveness, and I don't want it. There is no forgiving what is done and never should be.
To Connery, some of my best moments have been with you guys, and I just want to thank you guys first. Best 2 years of my gaming career, and probably will always continue to be. You guys have no equal, so stand tall in knowing that. Connery is Connery, we're not Emerald West, Emerald is not Connery East. Connery has no peer or equal, and is by far the most entertaining group of people I have ever met. So I'm sorry in betraying your trust. I spent so much time with all of your outfits because I legitimately enjoyed playing with you, because I wanted to bridge this server, and build a core of friends in the process. For the past 6 months it was my only reason for playing this game other than Op's with MERC. You guys were my Planetside 2, my farm and fun. Training you guys, playing with you, leading you, was my fun. I got to know, play with, and make friends with all of you from all over the globe, and by far my second biggest regret and my only reason for being done with this game, is that I can no longer spend time with you with my head held high, standing as a equal and friend, that I no longer deserve it. So Connery thank you, and I'll miss you even if you won't miss me. I might play casually as far as I have planned, but to each of you. You're important to me in the best kind of way.
To SAWS: Flesh, Scoop, Necro, and all your members. Thank you for letting me play with, lead and train each of you. For broadening my horizon of friends. For introducing to me to the autism train that is FXHD. Flesh, thanks for talking last night, thank you for helping me realize things, and for extending the kindness and offers you had made. I might just take you up on it in whenever I get back into the game.
To SOLx: Thank you. For your integrity, for not letting things be swept under the carpet, for calling me out on my bullshit. I wish you the best in the future, and I know that any member to join your outfit is in good hands with the leadership I have met and played with; and XKQ, you're my favorite cunt, always will be.
To TLFT: Ding, you are by far the most enjoyable PL I have ever played with during the daytime, ranging from conversation, daily story time, and leadership. I'm going to miss you, your insane euro-logic, and our hearty debates.
To BRAC: Dextro, keep that shit fucking real, and I wish you and all of BRAC the best when you get back into the game.
To GUBB: Keep that fucking real Deedle, finish up those auraxiums and keep rolling forward. I wish yall the best.
To 666: I don't know most of you as much as I wish, but your Spec ops group is a great group of guys. So get your shotguns ready and keep rolling forward.
To HIVE: Thank you for your improvement of my game, of my squad play, my shooting skill and ability. I was mediocre, and you guys made a world of difference at the time. In addition to being the biggest most enjoyable fucktards I have ever met. Keep being toxic fam. It's enjoyable.
To FCRW: Shock, scourge, 404, Rough. You're the only ones I've talked to and played with, but you're a good group. I wish your community the best, and hope you guys found a game to focus your efforts on.
To 56rd: I know you're gone now, I know that you guys have plans for the future. But you have always and for the longest time been one of the groups I've had the most fun playing with outside my outfit. So Patro, Blake, Commander. Eyes forward to the future, and don't look back on the past. It's a bright future for you guys. Commander, thank you for hearing my prayers to the great Skygod. Lead the flock appropriately, and always forever oppose the dissenting burster religion.
To BURT: As a skywhale pilot, you should go away. As a group, you've always been a great bunch, and I wish you guys the best.
To HMRD: You guys aren't as active anymore, but you know Archcraig, about 50percent of the time I enjoyed your drunken self, so wherever you are, I'm pouring one out for my fallen boys.
To IvI: I'm sorry again. I hope you rebuild and recover. I'm sorry.
To the rest of you, I'm running out of time tonight, and I need to get this off my chest. I'm going to miss you, I want to thank you for all the time and friendship you've shown me. Just because you're name or outfit isn't up there, doesn't mean you don't make a impact. There is just so many of you to talk about, to thank and speak to that I couldn't type it all in 5 reddit posts. So the best of luck to all of you.
To MERC: You guys, well I miss you. I left before talking to any of you, before seeing how you felt about it, because I didn't want MERC to suffer for the groups decisions,for my decisions, for any of it. I deleted my perms and left the outfit before talking because you guys didn't deserve it, any backlash, any bad view or showing. Each and every one of you made a difference, you taught me how to lead and be confident. You told me when I was being a fucktard, and you made me laugh and joke and enjoy it on a daily basis. You're some of my bestfriends, and I miss you. I wish I was still there for what used to be our future, what we had planned, where we were going. I threw that all away. I wish I could come back, to play and talk and be there with you. I represented you in a way to all those outfits, to the server. And I fucked that all up. I wish you the best. I miss you, and if you want to talk to me at all, message me here, get my number from Warbird, and just keep on keeping on. I'm sorry, and I miss you. I'd remove my testicles for the chance to play with yall again.
Connery, I love you. I still do, and I'm sorry.