I wish my bf could’ve admitted this. His excuse was that: 1.) it fed his ego 2.) he did what he did without ever consciously thinking about what it meant in the context of faithfulness and respect towards me 3.) his bi-polar disorder makes him have impulsive tendencies towards things involving a flirtatious/sexual/romantic contexts

That’s all he could muster up as far as excuses/ justifications go. Although he claims the previous flings he had before me were meaningless, then why tf did he still do it. I just wish he could not be a coward and fucking admit shit so I’m not constantly drained and frustrated for wanting some fucking closure for shitty disrespectful behavior, or at least a well written out thoughtful apology