Yeah, right. Of course this is true! Deletion by morning?

I am new and don't know what this sub is all about, but to be called a troll for speaking the truth about the world not being one made of Care Bears seems to be common manners on reddit. I therefore haven't got a clue if you are supposed to answer posts here or not.

What I do know though, is that you should NOT accept your ex-partner's excuses until he has cured his numerous addictions at least. Part of an addictive personality is to not want things to change. We think about the excesses, but we forget the not-wanting-things-to-change part of that character. Think about it this way, how many sane people do want to have time and again the very same thing served on their dinner plate or the very same film played on their screen, if that dinner or that film makes them badly ill afterwards each time ? (I'm not talking about enjoying the odd weepy, which makes you feel better about your own life or for it has a happy end. I'm talking about being deeply upset by a film and watching it over and over again every day. or eating food you are badly allergic to.)

Sorry to say this, but you are part of his addictive frame of mind. And while you have fooled yourself for years, taking his need for you to remain his thing as meaning you were very special to him, to his frame of mind, you are no different to cocaine, cheap sex chats and the likes. Sorry, if that sounds harsh, I have to put it that way so that your feelings for his apparently better side do not make you hurt yourself and your family further.

We are not talking about a plain drug-addict here, but apparently about an addictive personality, in other words he needs addiction to feel alive, he did not fall and got trapped into one by chance and he is always going to look for higher and higher addictions. Few of them accept to have their hormones checked to get the balance right again, as having used to addiction for so long, they never again feel alive in their destroyed minds, even when hormonal intake make them not need to take drugs anymore. Only really strong personalities can then overcome that feeling of loss of artificial thrill after having their balance righted, for they need to constantly remind themselves that now they can live and love people, instead of seeking their own premature death and destroying others on the way.

To an addictive personality, whether you are a saint or a piece of trash doesn't make any difference, if you've entered their lives at some point. They don't care about y-o-u. Not in the way one means it at least. They only care about whether they can have more of the same over and over at will. But be that the drug killing their brains, the prostitutes he needs to increase their "buzz" feeling as cocaine and drinks would make them further and further unable to experience a thrill as their addiction grows, or be that their partners and children, none is worth more than a pack of crisps at the pub. When they have a need for it, they'd cry and beg to have the pack of crisps. But when they do not need their saltiness to steady their legs on teh way to the loo after a heavy alcohol intake, they'd walk over the pack if it fell on the floor after they'd knocked it off the rack, when drunk or drugged.

Don't let the love you felt for his apparently positive sides make you be nothing more than a pack of crisps being walked all over on a beer and mud soaked pub floor.

He could have got help to cure his addictions long ago, had he wanted to. Either he didn't or it didn't work out at all if he did. He is apparently on the worse slope of addiction right now, and so will destroy everyone he touches until he reaches rock bottom, starting by his children, then you. If you hesitate when it's only about yourself, think about your children then, please. And do not let him back into your life unless he really is cured first.

There are only two ways it can go now. Either he needs a firm and definitive NO from you in order to take his problems to a specialist and cure himself, or he doesn't want to change and is only pretending he wants to while seeking heavier drug mixes, more and more dangerous sexual encounters, and soo crime encounters too, his dealers only need to ask him and he will do it for the thrill inhis current state of mind.

If you ever hesitate, think about it, whether on cocaine or not, when hehad talked with prostitutes, he will soon, if he hasn't done it already, be paying them a visit. And being a drug-addict, he'll probably forget basic safety measures when high, and as his thrill will weaken and weaken, he'll move into more risky visits (no protection with obviously ill prostitutes is a classic of such personality traits). Do you know what syphilis does to a baby or to young children whose brain is developping ? (IQ of under 70; liver disease and death are a risk for them post such encounter, among other nice things) And I'm not even talking about worst diseases you could get.

On a personal basis, he is like a loaded gun against the emotional well-being of your family. And since he is now even inviting his drug-dealers and the shady criminals behind those sex rings into your home, he is also putting your family at the mercy of criminals, who often do not hesitate to maim or kill to get their money or a deal.

Kick him out and leave him there. At the very least until he cures himself from his current addictions. But expect that he'll always be addictive to something, whatever that'll be, and that it'll alway get out of control.

/r/MNTrolls Thread Link -