Our last conversation about me being my stuff back leads me to believe that you're still not over me.
If you aren't, please, get over me, soon.
I say that because even though I broke up with you, I till care to see that you're happy. And if you don't just let me go and move on, you're going to screw things up with your new boyfriend, and I don't want that to happen because of me. I really meant it when I said I think you and your new boyfriend are good for each other, and I'd hate to see you two have problems because of me.
Why do I say this? Because I left you for the same reason, and I don't want the cycle to continue. You had insecurities that you just couldn't get past, and they were caused by your previous ex. I tried to work with you for 3 years on those insecurities, but you could never let them go, accept that I wasn't going to treat you the same way, and enjoy being with me instead of worrying about things I never did.
From what you told me, your ex absolutely gave you reason to distrust him in regards to anything related to other women. But I never did anything to make you question my commitment to you. Don't do the same to your new boyfriend.
If you let me fuel your insecurities, you're making a huge mistake. Your new boyfriend is a great guy, I saw him as a friend from the first time I met him. I also know that he doesn't deserve the distrust about your insecurities, just like I didn't. So I'll break down what you really needed to get over, and I hope you have for his sake.
Yes, I watched porn, and I know you were insecure about that. I guarantee that your new boyfriend watches it too. It never changed how I felt about you, and it won't change how he feels about you. It didn't change my sexual expectations at all, and my expectations were modest compared to literally every other couple that I've ever known. I thoroughly enjoyed the sex we had, and I'm pretty sure you did too, unless you were damn good at faking it. Porn isn't bad unless you let it be, and I didn't. Without porn, I wouldn't have been nearly as adept in bed as I was. It really didn't affect me negatively, and you shouldn't continue to let it affect you.
It's okay for him to think that actresses and other celebrities are hot. It fucking killed me that we couldn't watch a single movie with an attractive woman character without you getting worked up over it. Just like porn, it didn't affect how I felt about you in the slightest. I really hope you get over that, because you were extremely hypocritical on it. You always said that hot actors didn't affect how you viewed me, but failed to accept that the same went for how hot actresses didn't affect my view of you.
As for other women. Yes, I checked out other girls, but not in a sexual state of mind. Your new boyfriend will do the same. He'll see other girls that are attractive, and they'll remind him of you. I checked out things like hair, clothes, and makeup on other girls, because I would picture how you would look with those things. I never, ever, looked at another girl and wanted to be with them instead of you.
In regards to my female friends. You were blind on this one. You would get upset if I hung out with a group of friends that included females and didn't invite you. Usually I didn't invite you because I knew you were busy or would be. Sometimes I just needed time with my friends without you. Did I ever get upset when you hung out with a mixed gender group of your friends and didn't invite me? No. Yet you didn't trust me to do the same because there wild be other females there. I mean, fuck, half of your friends were guys. They were great, I was cool with them, and I completely trusted you with them; I just expected the same trust from you.
As for the last straw. Yes, I can see where going to happy hour with a female coworker could be bad. But what I did wasn't. I was completely new to this city and didn't know anybody. So was she. There is only one other coworker our age. Besides that, the next youngest person is over 40. And it wasn't just happy hour to drink and talk, we were waking around a crowded public gathering and experiencing the city that was new to us. I didn't have any emotional motivation behind going there with her, and neither did she. Fun fact, she's still very happily with her boyfriend, just like I told you, and I still don't have any feelings for her. All I was doing was trying to befriend a coworker that I could work alongside for the next 40 years. Nothing more.
That pretty much wraps it up. If you let me continue to fuel those insecurities, you're going to scree things up again, and like I said, I'd hate to see that. You know I knew your new boyfriend decently well, and he's a great guy. But if you don't get past these insecurities and over me completely, it's not going to last with him either. And that would really suck for you, because then you'll lose all of your other guy friends; no matter how good of friends you are with all of them, they're cost friends to him, and if you scree things up they're going to side with him in the long run.
I really hope you do find a way to make it work with him. I sincerely meant what I said about you two being good together, because from what I saw, he's a decent bit like me. That's why I worry that you won't get over your insecurities, and that you'll lose him just like me.
I'm sorry.