I'm ok. I hope you find what you are looking for. You know I would have done anything for you but I am a better person now because of you. I am not bitter, I was sad for a couple days.. even cried at work like an idiot. I couldnt help it and the more people asked how i was doing the harder it was to act ok. I thought you were the person I could feel safe with. You even said you would love to adopt my daughter.. but the distance proved to be too much. I encouraged you to take the new exciting job and as happy as I am about your new horizons, I feel partly responsible for our demise only to the extent of believing I was strong enough to handle the distance.. even though in the back of my mind, I knew I couldnt. I also knew if you never left, you would never ever be happy. I just needed a time or a goal time for when the baby and I could follow. I genuinely wish the best of luck and hope that someday, sometime, somewhere you find your moment. The moment you no longer feel isolated, unhappy, complacent, trapped, and undecisive. I was so devistated about it ending after 2 1/2 years until i realized you have demons that I cannot quiet. It is so heart breaking to know nothing I can say or do truely makes your heart feel light. I can see the clouds that hang over your head and see what the weight of the world on your shoulders has done to your mind and your health. Dont stress so much about the money. Yes, being secure is important but I have a career and make money too! I tried to help you understand that team work is better. I just want you to be happy. If we can work this out in the future, I would like that. You are my best friend and only want the best for you. But you need to find yourself and I understand that, even if you dont say it like that. I will keep growing.. ultimately, though.. my heart aches so much for you and your dark place. I love you.

Oh, and I like to hang out with your mom but I am cutting it back.. she cried more than I did and the baby always asks to talk to you and visit your mom. That makes it the hardest to move on. I don't want to hurt her feelings and she insisted on saying she would still attend every biryhday party and invites us over but I am about to start pulling the baby away. It's what's best for myself and the baby. Call or skype your mom more, she misses you.