Your funniest BCT/MCRD/Etc stories?

Meps. 2009. I was at a point in my life where I felt like I hit rock bottom. Bending over. Spreading my ass cheeks. Old man checking out my asshole. I was traumatized, but before I could even register what had happened, I got shuttled into another room with another old man. I was ORDERED to drop my trousers, boxers and all. It was now just me, my dick and balls, and an old man. He started touching them, telling me everything was alright. Before I could register what had happened, I was instructed to pull up my pants and go sit in another room, with about 5 or 6 other men. Then, we were FORCED to drink water to the point of needing to urinate badly, but we were told to hold it until everyone was ready. Then, once ready about 25 minutes later, when I felt as though my bladder would literally explode, I was marched into the bathroom, making me feel like cattle going to the slaughterhouse. It was cold in there, sterile, silent except for the humming of the light bulb. A gentleman, probably in his mid 30s, then told the 7 of us to line up and face the urinals, which lacked any sort of barrier or concealment between each. He told us to stand 3 feet away from them. He stood adjacent to us. He told us to unbutton our pants and take our penises out. He starred, not with any sort of lust or fawning, but with a very serious face. He then made us march to the urinal, one step at a time, our right hands holding our flaccid penis, or left by our side. We were then instructed to pee. That sweet release, the only pleasure I received that day.

/r/Military Thread