What I've gleaned from your story:
These are both issues. The former is easier to fix, just ask to play with them more. You don't have to be running FCoB 24/7, and neither do they, so there will be time to play. In the meantime, make a linkshell to chat with all of your friends while you play.
The latter is both more difficult and more important to fix. The obvious solution (as you've stated) is to stop playing with them - so do it.
But consider that people are dumb before they are willfully insulting; when you are directly recorded as the highest DPS, but someone says it was low, then they're being sarcastic. It's like, "oh gosh you're doing so little damage you're ONLY triple our lowest!" It's a joke with the implication that everyone recognizes that you're doing the most, and acts as a mechanism for people to not feel as bad as how they're doing relative to you and keep people from getting too full of themselves. This backfired in that you didn't realize you were doing the most, so felt slighted.
Additionally, going by everything I see in your post, none of this has to do with you being female. I'm not sure what makes you think that, but you have none of it in this post.
Yes, couples playing together can be sickening sometimes, just like hanging out with couples in real life can be sickening sometimes. Just make note of her poor play (bards should sing proactively, not on demand by a single player, boyfriend or not) and not invite her (and by extension, him) to things until it changes. Aside from that, treat them as you would any couple in your real life; if you can't hang out with them together very often, don't play with them together very often. This is Social Interaction 103: How to mitigate being annoyed by everyone ever.
Regarding server: generally speaking, you don't want to transfer unless A) you want to start completely over, or B) you're transferring to play with people at are either friends or have promising potential. As it happens, I recently came back because a friend on Siren wanted me to, but I ended up provoking my friends to come back on Malboro, so I didn't transfer. I could try putting you in touch with them, but I have no idea what sort of players they are. You are, of course, welcome to come say hi on Malboro. :)