My husband was the SG and really thought he could earn his parents' love and respect, that they would see who he had grown up to be and that finally they would treat him the way he deserved. It never happened though. No matter how well he did, no matter how our kids achieved, both he and our children are permanent scapegoats. it has literally nothing to do with who my husband is as a person, or who my children are as people. Literally nothing to do with them at all. it's just the strangest thing I've ever had the misfortune to experience. We have always lived far away from them so it was not nearly as bad as it could have been.

The other grandkids are the GC grandkids are they have been spoiled with expensive presents their entire lives. I think they are paying the special price that the GC's always pay, because nothing is free when it comes to Ns. As the GC grandkids have grown up and become independent, I think the grandparents are slowly driving them away with their toxicity.

That would be a good thing, except that I'm pretty sure that my husband, the SG, is blamed for everything that goes wrong in that family. It is speculation, but likely true based on how that side of the family has been pursuing us and trying to bring us back into the fold.

Quite frankly is simply is not true that kids deserve or need grandparents. My husband said that for a long time but finally stopped. It became obvious to me that what he meant when he said that, was that it would make him happy if his parents treated our kids well. He wanted so much to be able to say that they had "changed" and "are better now." I went along with it because I wanted my husband to be happy, but he never got the closure he wanted.