But she put Eleven in danger by purposefully taking El into public. A literal mall.

I don't really hold that against Max. She's a middle schooler or something during season 3, so no wonder she didn't fully comprehend how dangerous the situation was. And even if she knew, she probably saw it as a risk she was willing to take because she was giving Eleven the stereotypically girly experience she had been denied her whole life.

when Max is trying to pin Eleven against the boys and suggesting her as the solution to ALL of the party’s problems, KNOWING she was exhausted and on the verge of collapsing, was not okay.

It's been a good while since I last watched so I'm foggy on the scene you're talking about, but I always saw Max's divisive nature as a result of her environment. She's growing up in a household where her only reliable ally is her mom, and all the male figures in her life are abusive jerks. It's not a surprise she's so quick to turn on the boys and ally herself to the only other girl in their group even if it's to her detriment, because she's likely been doing that for most of her formative years. I agree that Max can be a major brat, but as a character she's not bad.