3. Your top comment is first thing you say in a job interview, how does it go?

Your top comment is first thing you say in a job interview, how does it go?

Well this is embarrassing...

Back when I was around 15/16 I, like every other guy during that stage of life, I was horny as fuck one night. I wanted to masturbate but wanted to do something a little different. While I was deciding what to do I went to the bathroom and saw the toilet paper roll was all used up when suddenly I had a brilliant idea...I'd fuck a toilet paper roll! The only issue I had with it was the toilet paper roll was too big width-wise for my dick so I once again had another brilliant idea...I'd line the inside with lukewarm toilet paper! This way I'd knock out two birds with one stone, I'd be able to make it a little more narrow and I'd be able to give it a warm and wet texture to it, since vaginas obviously feel like wet pieces of toilet paper. So I quickly assembled my toilet paper fuck hole and then went back to my room and started to look at the random pictures I had torn from my uncles Playboys that I had hidden in the speakers of my stereo. I finally got hard and was ready to have the time of my life. I immediately started to fuck my beloved toilet paper roll. Sadly the warm water had already grown cold and the toilet paper on the inside was being pushed out but that didn't stop me, I was determined to fuck the hell out of it. As I continued to power stroke the shit paper holster, it slowly started to fall apart due to it getting soggy from a mixture of the water on the inside and sweat. It was slowly unraveling and flakes of toilet paper were snowing upon my bed but I didn't care, I was getting ready to climax while fucking the closest thing I'd ever had to a vagina at that time of my life. Suddenly, as my orgasm is getting closer and closer, it quickly goes away and is replaced by a pain. I look down and see what little is left of the unraveled toilet paper roll and blood all over it. At first I was puzzled as to why I was bleeding but then I realized it. Since I was fucking it so hard, sometimes I'd thrust into the toilet paper roll at angles and it would scrape along my penis. Horrified, I immediately went limp and ran to the shower to wash away the blood. Afterwards I had to clean up the flakes of toilet paper off my bed while my dick hurt for the next few days.

TLDR: Fuck a toilet paper roll, holding onto a bloody penis.

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