Oh, for sure. I also know people who just don't want to say what it is they want, but are clearly overjoyed to receive a gift at Christmas. I love buying things for them. And I love buying things for my friends who give me a list of wants/needs, though I'm over 40 now and I don't have many friends who still do that. My kids, though, for sure. It gives me great joy to buy Christmas presents for people who enjoy receiving gifts, and I pride myself on putting thought into it. It gives me equal joy to find alternate ways to celebrate the people in my life who don't want gifts. For instance, my younger brother shares my anxiety, for obvious reasons. We go to dinner and then to do karaoke every year instead of buying each other stuff. Time. Togetherness. Laughing, joking, having a good time. Those things mean so much to me, and it's all I ever ask for.

I only have one relative and one friend who still insist on giving me Christmas presents. When I ask them not to give me anything, I tell them about my anxiety and wanting to throw up/disappear (yes, really) when they bring gifts, and they tell me it doesn't matter. They SPECIFICALLY TELL ME my feelings don't matter; they have a gift for me anyway, and I can throw it in the trash if I want. How does this make sense? How does this make them a good friend?

I received a notification that a new comment had been posted. The preview said I was a jerk for projecting my anxiety, but the comment disappeared before I could read it in full. I mean, we could go in circles all day about whose feelings matter more—the person with anxiety or the person with the need to give a gift. I am writing from the perspective of the person with anxiety. I cannot speak for those who are on the other end of the spectrum.