Nothing better than feeling like someone’s last choice. I had my first kiss leave me for someone else and move to another state because apparently I wasn’t physically giving her enough attention. I felt so fucking horrible not be able to keep a girl around. Like I’m not good enough physically for any girl or mentally good enough for that matter. Especially the fact that this was my first kiss that just dropped me like a plate of garbage. I couldn’t understand what I did wrong or if any women would ever show me any interest. It just led me to the point where I can’t let any women close because deep down that feeling of abandonment and untrustworthiness hits me hard. Sure I’ve gotten physically close and intimate but I can only get so close...then she showed back up with two kids and it hurt like hell but at least she came back even if I was her last pick. It was my fault for letting her back in and kind of learned my lesson with giving things another shot with relationships that lead down the same path. Never again. Still can’t really trust women that much either.