have you tried a bikini trimmer? they are so easy and simple and never cause me pain - really simple solution that I wish I had known about when I was younger -

waxing is simply too expensive and far too painful for me to ever try again (I had extreme like...blood-bruising, red bruises after I got my first brazilian...first and last)

I'm so sorry you've had such a shitty doctor, also your pubic hair is -not- related to your BV and I'm not sure why she has taken a specific interest in how long your pubic hair is

I had BV with a yeast infection simultaneously the other year, it was awful. douche-ing will definitely fuck it up even more. I think you should be prescribed antibiotics for BV in my opinion, I've never heard of a doctor not prescribing antibiotics for that...

preventative measures: this may not work for everyone but I seriously apply coconut oil to my vagina (all over, even inside) -a ton- especially when I feel too dry or anything, I haven't had a yeast infection or any problem since I started doing this (but obviously take stories like this with a grain of salt :P, I had five-six yeast infections the year after I got my IUD, after I started using coconut oil like mad, especially after sex, it stopped happening)

coconut oil seems to balance my shit down there for some reason, and it can calm down the inflame bits, it also just feels nice

I realize it sounds bizarre if you've never tried it before...it started slow for me and now I basically have my own personal coconut oil specifically for my vagina container haha - just thought I'd throw this out here in case it helps

I also found that probiotics help my entire system immensely, my gyno at one point recommended a specific probiotic that you can even insert in your vagina (but this was for yeast infections, I'm not sure if this applies to BV at all)