Lol doctors did nothing and still don't care about the pancreatitis when I bring it up because they deemed it insignificant and likely due to dehydration. Despite losing 55% of my body mass in less than a year and a half when things first got bad. It didn't get better either, it's been years of symptoms and low BMI. Considering I've had to essentially diagnose myself and tell my doctors what to test for every step of the way, it's hardly new.

You'd be right in acknowledging the psychological aspect of it all..... because I don't trust anyone anymore and I am probably dealing with some type of complex PTSD or depression to be honest. I don't mean to rant , but I've got some childhood trauma I literally can't talk honestly because they blame me for my decisions every time I bring it up. Better yet, I am financially dependent and unable to be honest with the ones who inflicted it, and any honesty about how I have EDS or about how childhood trauma led to the wild decisions I made as a teenager results in gaslighting and the talks about how to "stop being a victim and pull yourself up by the bootstraps". I can't afford psychological help and live in the land of no insurance or Medicaid. Can't work full time either. Or drive. And have zero friends. It is killing me being in this situation.

My family sort of let it happen and accepeted that I could be messed up for life or die pretty causally, my boss and job cast me aside the second I wasn't as productive as I used to be, my coworkers and friends stopped talking to me after I got sick and became the debbie downer trying to deal with the existential part of it, and then the health system failed to take me seriously and now I am facing the long game of being underweight for years. I am sick and tired. And malnourished. And the world went on even though I would have set everything aside for these people in my life to have them be happier, and yet it felt like I found out the hard way no one would do the same and they bail the second there is no easy solutions.