Lol. Right?

Regardless of all that, you do have to accept that if your dog is bothering you, it's up to you to do something productive to improve the situation.

The something different is very often exercise, obedience, or other lifestyle stuff - medical, diet, environmental stuff, routine etc.

Talk to your friends that have well bahaved dogs. You don't have to take all their advice but you might find a few little gold nuggets their.

If you haven't been to obedience class, go. Good ones are designed to teach how commands to address common puppy issues and make them easier to live with.

If it was me I would probably do 10 minutes of play/ exercise/ engagement and then tell him to go sit on his bed and reward him for doing so. The end game is to make his bed a comfy quiet place to hang out when you are busy.