I grew up Catholic and went to Catholic schools. In high school, one of my teachers became sexually inappropriate towards me. When I told another teacher, she not only disregarded my concerns, she encouraged me to let him touch me. He was one of those "cool" youth ministers.

Another teacher wouldn't listen to me when I told her the realities of my home life.

My father, who was abusive, forced me and my sister to lie to the Church so he could become a deacon.

Our priest refused to marry my sister and her husband because my parents disapproved. He shamed her in front of the entire congregation after learning she became pregnant out of wedlock (because he wouldn't marry them). She never went back to church after that.

A few years after high school graduation, I went into a deep depression. There was a monastery nearby that allowed both women and men to seek refuge there as needed, free of charge. It was an amazing three day experience, until I went to leave and they demanded a "donation". I gave them $40, as that's all I had at the time, and they got very angry at me.

My best friend, or so I thought he was, told me if I didn't marry him he would become a priest. I told him to go for it. While I was happy to eventually learn, nearly 20 years later, he married and has a family, I was disheartened to also learn that the "cool" youth minister also married - one of my classmates. She had three young daughters from a previous marriage when they married and I've worried about those little girls every day since hearing the news.

God left the Catholic Church a long time ago. It, and all it encompasses, is horrible and toxic. I hope you, like my friend, end up going down a sunnier, kinder, more Godly path.