Been depressed since my divorce 5 years ago. I spent my entire 20s with her and built a life, and right as we were trying to have kids, things fell apart.

I waited 8 yeats before trying to have kids, wanted to make sure we were right for each other, only for when me to feel that we were, that we weren't. How the fuck am I supposed to submit myself to that experience again. Because of that, I don't plan on every being in a relationship again, nor have children, so what even is the point of life anymore?

Shit, maybe it's better that I don't have kids in the first place... the world just chews em up and spits em out all damaged and broken by the time they are adults anyways.

So, I'm not depressed in a clinical and suicidal way or anything, just don't see the point in anything. I get the most enjoyment out of drinking whiskey and watching tv alone by myself after a long day.