I did charity for a little bit, but it rubbed me the wrong way. And it made me a little confused. I could grind 10 hours more and give a lot to noobs, but I don't feel appreciated for the extra time. And that's how it feels taking a chunk of the time I already grind - if I could live on lees, then why am I grinding more? My peers always referred to it as "giving back", which feels odd because given the same opportunities, I didn't do all the fun minigames in college, I spent thousands of hours alone in a library.

I don't feel like I owe anyone anything for investing my time; and I'll never get to go back to college and make friends. And I do have a lot less friends than my peers because of my focus on studying.

Maybe it's selfish, but my life feels LESS balanced the harder I work, or the less I pay myself for how hard I've worked thus far.