idk just i havent been feeling too good mentally

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went to a con recently (FC) and i went to a few panels and its alright. friend told me tho that hes been noticing that i just have short conversations with my friends like saying "hi how are you im good hows the con its good" something like that and it onlyu lasts for like a minute then i leave and continue to see my friends. he also said that friends are people you talk with for like a long time not just in short bursts and he's been qu4estioning whether my friends are really friends or just blowing me off. so ever since ive been feeling really insecure and it just ruined FC

some of my friends also were not available like last FC and they seem to be in relationships which i respect but i feel like ive been ignored and i asked another friend whehter he considered me as a friend. he said eh he doesn't know becuase we don't relate on really a lot of things. that kinda fucked me up a lot tbh.

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im questioning whether im a furry anymore because im not that interested in furry stuff as i was back in 2019 when i first joined just lucario porn and shit and now i feel like whats the point when im not interested in furry stuff like everyone has been..

plus the friend who told me about his concern about my friends is my ex. we broke up a week before the con and im still really reeling in from the fallout even though we're still technically friends......

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feel like im losing everyone he seems to be really upset with me because he has been only giving me one sentence responses, like really short ones like "ya im good" and nothing after so im guessing he's upset. I was fucking unaware that when he thanked me for bringing him to his first con ever i did an imesage reaction and it was in spanish; since he didnt have imessage it just read like "le gusto xyz" and when i looked over it seemed like i was blowing him off.....

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fuck me.. fuck my life

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soon enough some more of my furry friends are gonna leave me because i just vent most of the time now and theyre gonna findout hiow shitty of a person i am.

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this shit depressing.,