I'd appreciate if any feminist-leaning users reading this part shared their experiences with this.

I basically agree with everything you said. I used to talk about men's issues a lot more and would voice my opinion supporting men's issues, but within the past say, six-eight months, I've mostly stopped doing that. I don't need to be the 15th person saying that circumcision is bad on a given thread. I still typically agree with those things being issues, but I don't want to contribute to a circlejerk. I've done the same with most feminist-critical comments/ideas I have. I said once before that I wrote a fairly thorough post on my disagreements with patriarchy theory and I just couldn't bring myself to post it. I mean, I could and I could try to convince the what, two people, who believe in it? I have next to zero faith it would actually produce a good discussion.

Even back when I did make those comments (pro-men, critical of feminism), lower-effort was required for much higher reward. I can link to comments I made that would be in the 20s, 30s, 40s and were just kind of meh in terms of being thorough, clear, reasoned, etc. Meanwhile, I can actually spend the time sourcing and explaining a feminist/pro-women argument, maaaybe get into the 10s, and still have it be clear to me that some of the people who respond didn't actually read my post, but did try to find one line that they can take and interpret as uncharitably as possible to paint me as some man-hater. What does it mean when this comment, demonstrating that they didn't read the article and it isn't even kind of related to the content that was posted gets as many upvotes as this? It's hard to look at this and think that there are productive discussions being had.

And yes, the fact that someone called all feminists, including the ones participating in the subreddit, bigots and got 32 upvotes for it and I have to think about how to carefully word a post that expresses empathy for women tells me that its the demographics that are the problem.

I've been here almost since the inauguration of the sub. It seems clear to me that this isn't an issue that can be modded away. It requires a fair number of the users in the sub to seriously chill out, be charitable, read what was posted, and have empathy.