I need some help writing the backstory to my world.

Word economy.

In the beginning, there was nothing but an empty void. It wasn't until light was born that the universe was created.

Millions of years ago, there were four beings. Siblings.

We know not where, or how these beings came to be, but what is known, was their hunger for creativity. Shaping the land, and sea, they carefully built a world they deemed to be perfect. Trees that grew eternally, but never withered. Flowers that would bloom, but never fall.

They named their world(it) ‘Ageria’.

Centuries past and the four beings became lonely. A paradise with no one to share with but themselves. All they had were the creatures that roamed the fields and climbed the mountains. The creatures that dug beneath the dirt, and soared through the air.

Each of these four beings decided (to)hat they would each create something new. Something like them. Beings to accompany them. Their own children.

The four gods took it upon themselves to each create a race of species to roam their world.

The first being isolated himself in the plane fields and thought long and hard on what he wanted his own species to be. Finally, he settled on it. From his hands, man was born. They were filled with compassion and envy. They were smart, yet reckless. Amongst the races to be created, they ended up the weakest, bearing no traits of any significance. A perfect canvas for anything to be made of them. They named (him) their god “Asdros.”

The second being found herself fascinated with the oceans they had created. For her species, she created the merfolk. With blue-colored skin, they stood out amongst the soon to be created people of our world. They were given tails to swim through the sea, and legs to walk on land when they so desired. They named (her) their god “Atlanta.”

The third being (created) decided on her people to live in the forests. Bearing a resemblance to man, she helped them stand out with pointed ears and elongated life. The elves were born. Their home was the forests of Ageria, and with great speed, and intellect, they quickly rose to be the smartest of the races. They named (her) their god “Arja.”

The fourth being sought solitude in the mountains. He forged a group of people solely to live on the earth. To mine and explore what they had created. They soon rose to become the most ingenuitive of the races, surpassing all others in crafting weapons, machinery, tools, and systems. The dwarves were born, and they named their god “Angroug.”

Years passed, and the four beings where cherished and praised amongst their races.

Each of them was gifted an item as thanks for their creation.

Asdros received a small wooden shield. In it, he put his strength, and invulnerability, to protect any of those who shall wear it.

Atlanta was given a bracelet, and in it, she infused the power to control the sea.

Arja received a ring. She placed a gem inside it and gifted those who wore it the ability to control light.

Angroug was given a hammer. With it, he created more mountains for his dwarves to live in, infusing it with the power to do such a task.

((Someone appears to play World of Warcraft. Depicted above: the Shield of Aggramar, the Tidestone, the Tear of Elune, and Hammer of Khaz'goroth. I would suggest giving your relics a more particular importance and meaning to distinguish these macguffins from arbitrary artifacts, like a reason why the siblings needed to empower them instead of keeping to their own abilities. The fact they are immediately a problem below and their otherwise "secured in lost temple" status beyond suggests they ONLY exist to service the plot, which is not the sense you want to build for world lore. Additionally, since the story refers to Ageria as only "they called it" or "they put stuff on it" instead of "our world" or "our people are like this", it makes it sound like we're hearing about a place where the story isn't being told.))

More years passed and soon the gods began to notice something. One by one the people of their races were being killed. Mass slaughters began to take place as conflict arose. A (hu/mer/elf/dwarf)man, by the name of Anthrax, led an army against the people of Ageria. He wielded the four gifted relics, using them to lay waste to the lands, and create his own masterpieces.(:) Monsters, demons. He gave himself immense power and laid waste to entire kingdoms.

Soon, the gods confronted the man. In retaliation, he attempted to kill them and was nearly successful. The gods' presence was enough to (scare) fear Anthrax’s army (into) from sinning before them. Fearful of what punishment may bestow upon them for their actions. They turned(ing) on Anthrax.

After a long and bloody battle, the gods defeated him, though could not end his life. Fearful of becoming what he was, they spared his life and punished him with an eternity trapped inside a prison that he could not escape.

((And why would the locations of these artifacts be part of the story? If they're supposed to be hidden, how is telling everyone details of their location helpful to the gods to keep it that way? Do they respect the gods' wishes or don't they?))

Now seeing just what was truly capable of the four gifts, the gods agreed to lock them away, sealing them inside temples hidden throughout the world.

Angroug constructed and hid his temple deep at the bottoms of the first mine of Ageria. To guard it, he used Anthrax’s own beasts, and locked them inside with the gift, ensuring no one would be able to acquire.

Atalanta swam to the bottom of the sea and built her temple in the darkest depths. Unlike her siblings, she laid no traps, as the sole fact that her temple was so far underwater, she was sure no one would be able to access it.

Arja hid her temple beneath the sands of the Everlasting Wasteland, the remains of Anthrax’s destructive battle with the gods. She made it so that the only way to enter, was by performing a ritual just above the ancient city’s center.

Asdros hid his temple in the highest mountains of Ageria. Sealing it behind a glacier of ice, he filled the tomb with large spiders and other horrible creatures. To ensure Anthrax was forever trapped, he built a prison for the man, forcing him to drown eternally in a pool of water. His power was too great, and the only way to contain him was with an equally powerful force. Asdros used his powers one last time to birth a fairy of equal strength. If she was to leave the room, the curse holding Anthrax would break.

With their four gifts hidden away, the gods turned to leave this world. As to why, is unknown, but to this day, we still pray to them in the sky, for they watch over and protect us.

Word choice is still a valuable tool to enrich your lore, and you could pick more descriptive verbs than "received" or "got". However, this "lore" is unsuccessful in getting me curious about the world because it feels very straightforward and uncomplicated; the siblings came, made people, made artifacts, fought a dude, left. Both the Silmarillion and history of Westeros are much more complex, but that complexity won't appear overnight, and won't appear at all if the only reason you're including certain elements is because the fantasy genre has those elements. I find it weird (unfortunately so) that they have - apparently - all the critters earth would have, looked at apes, and decided all four people should be like super-apes in the same kind of runner's build as an Earth human except that merfolk can change their feet for tails when they feel like it. It's also unfortunate that the gods are so outmatched by Anthrax whose powers sourced from them that they decide to just leave forever instead of preventing a second(+) Anthrax from challenging them; can they not just apocalypse the world or something, I mean, you call them "gods"...

/r/fantasywriters Thread