Full disclosure, I know more about newlywed intimacy than I do about catholic teachings on the subject.

Is it painful, uncomfortable, or just not really satisfying for you? Lubrication and communication will help if you’re experiencing discomfort. Most women respond better to external stimulation than internal. You may find that secular sources may go into greater detail about the mechanics of everything, which may be helpful in figuring out how to do what works for you. But I don’t think you’ll find many sex-positive secular sources that don’t also promote un-catholic ideals. I can make secular recommendations for sex-positive educational sources, but just keep in mind that not everything they promote will be in line with church teachings, so you’ll have to pick around that stuff.

From what I’ve read so far on catholic teachings, it would seem that your husband is required to complete his part of the marital act in a way that is open to life, but since your climax is not directly related to openness to life, it doesn’t need to be penetrative. So explore other options with your husband.

I imagine that when it is more satisfying for you, you’ll be able to relax and have fun with it. And then it’ll be the bonding experience you both deserve. It will get better. You are not broken. Everyone needs a little time to learn what works, because no two people work exactly the same way. You’ll figure it out.

Hit me up if you have questions.