Wow, alright. Glad someone linked this thread. OP here.
From the gist of what is said in this thread :
I wrote a post after a particularly bad incident to be able to rant and i didn't notice how i missed basic details that seemed obvious only to us and that's all i've added because they were legitimate questions.
You don't know this woman at all, you don't know us, you just chose to make your own judgements and then decided to bash us to hell without having any certitude, this isn't right.
We had no idea that anyone would need a damn journal about our lives to understand it and take it at face value. We don't say that she's evil and narcissistic solely about the food. There is a whole life behind it, he's been through worse with her than i've dealt with and if you've met the woman you'd have no doubt about it, i don't have any duty to explain what she's capable of beyond what i experienced, neither going through this whole thread to make people see what's wrong one by one. It's clear you all made up your minds in the wrong way and use this sub to completely bash us with almost nothing substantial other than horrible conclusions.
The most hurtful is how vindicative and horrible you people are being, i feel like we aren't the only one with issues, because nothing calls for such hate when you have literally no clue if your conclusions are true, especially on a matter such as this.
So let's be clear, you have your life experiences but you need to all grow up instead of assuming that you know everything from a single post. You don't even wonder for a second if maybe there'd be a good reason for us to be stuck at her house. You don't know how we landed here, you don't know if we chose it and if she proposed it. You literally fucking deny our words and choose to consider them as lies, yes she begged us to stay longer because she is lonely, there is literally no one else in her life and for good reasons. You don't even assume for a second that it is possible to want people close to you and still need to make them suffer because of your own psychological issues, whether it is conscious or subconscious i don't care, i still suffer, we still suffer. I feel like none of the ones who mentioned it here have a sense of what a food addiction is, i kept seeing it downplayed to ridiculous levels but i'd really recommend such people to open some studies and do some research about it. It's so easy for anyone not concerned by addiction to be like "just ignore it and grow the fuck up", it just makes you sound clueless and immature. Also how the hell do you some of you assume that she "might want to eat it once in a while" when we categorically said that this isn't even in her regular diet. You know his mom better than him who grew up with her ?
We have literally no demands to make in this house because we had no choice but to be here, you have no idea how covid affects others than yourself it seems... We followed her rules and lived our life. When we arrived, everything was just fine when it comes to food, when we were away beforehand we were leaving a healthy life which we intended to keep, i was already on my own diet and he departed from the junk food a while ago, and when we arrived as she established her rules we only asked one thing : I will buy my own food for my diet because both him and his mom obviously don't have to eat the same things for their meal, but i can't see any junk and sweets in our cupboard at least, to which she agreed without a single issue since she doesn't even eat any, she works in a store and mainly eats there or brings back microwaveable meals or oven-heatable food for herself. On thursday and Sunday she cooks and we are all fine with it. She hasn't touched a sweet in her adult life, how is it that hard to understand ? Are you all Americans in here ? From there on things just subtly changed, first she'd buy what i'd call "inbetween foods", saying that it's kind of healthy and maybe i could try it. Then it became sweets JUST for breakfast, "just in case", because "breakfast is healthy for you", well no not when it consists of extremely sugary cereals or chocolate sweet brioches. And then it became just worst and worst from there on, no matter what happened. Started with normal conversations, "do you mind not buying this for us anymore as we don't eat them", it'd always disappear for a time and then weeks later come back in again and just be in our cupboard without discussion. Then conversations became more heated because we'd ask why would she put them there despite everything we agreed upon and even though she doesn't want them, and she'd just deny remembering such conversations and say that people should have some pleasure once in a while. Well yes we do, but not this, a spoon of almond butter once in a while, a banana, some humus with a cracker. And she shouldn't bother wasting her money on it for us. "Ok", always this same blank acceptance from her but never maintained. Anyway, came to a point where we simply stopped talking about it, we spent a good couple of months just letting it pile up in the cupboard, to the point that she took it as a way to introduce the full on very junk sweet food we wanted to avoid and discussed about. Not a pack had been opened so far, but i don't care what you think, having all of this under your nose when you're on a diet is bound to make you crack, it's scientifically proven, your brain's reward system activates by the sheer sight of sugary food. And in my worst moments during this pandemy i did crack and get to cry and work things out with my therapist and felt stronger again later. And that's the point, she witnessed it all, she even acknowledged it, apologized, and it still happened, over, and over, and over again, the junk in the cupboards, the fresh baked cakes in the fridge that just died after a few days because we and she didn't eat them, etc etc... I feel no guilt for trashing it a couple times to make a point after the suffering she's put us through. Working so hard to try to make people miserable has not even a shred of equivalence to me trashing a couple dozen euros worth of sweets to make a stand.
And this is just me, you have no idea what he's been through in his life with her, none of you will ever change any of that no matter what you decide to think of believe.
What is horrible is just seeing how disgustingly mean people can be to a complete stranger with so little to go with and on such a subject.
I'm glad that someone linked this thread, it feels strangely even better than genuine support at this very moment because it just reminds me that i don't have to pity my life that much.
Have fun fermenting in that bitter nauseous bubble of yours, i won't ever see any of your twisted minds ever again after blocking notifications. For the psychopaths who want to keep private messageing me and threatening me over this, I stopped reading any of it a while ago you're just monsters but fortunately only a bunch of 1s and 0s ultimately.