My roommate thought I was asleep one morning. They’re ‘guest’ was with us and I could hear the two of them going at it from across the room. (When I say across, I mean like two yards away). Fml.

It was one of THE MOST awkward situations I’ve ever been in—my brain nearly imploded from the embarrassment. And I NEEDED to pee badly, but I didn’t want to make shit 1000 times more awkward. Shit

So I laid there for an hour, trying to drone out everything and ‘sleep.’ In my own lala land. But then, at one point, the rustling/whispers stopped and I felt my roommate’s lover’s eyes on my back. A minute of me holding my pee in went by and then they were like, “yo, what if X is awake?”

...

There was nothing more that I wanted to do then than to ram through the door, drain my ears out in a sink, and go to a stall. (In that order).

And I nearly said f**k it, but didn’t bring myself to do it. How was I supposed to introduce my conscious ass? “Uhh, sorry to interrupt this foreplay sex, but I gotta pee.”

Hell no

To this day they still don’t know...