Afraid 2017-08-28

The problem with Peterson is that I think he's thinking of the PTSD he's dealt with, or had success with.

I went through the exact therapy he's talked about. The nightmares haven't stopped. The general anxiety hasn't stopped. Sometimes you don't go skipping into the sunset. Sometimes the shock is so bad that you're just broken.

I even had a pretty healthy view of what I did.

I was stabbed by an insurgent. He was going for my throat, I caught it with my arm, and pinned him against a wall. We struggled for a bit, and my TL put a 9mm in his head. I don't think the guy was bad. I don't think he hated me, Crippled_Bastard, specifically. We were on opposite sides of a war.

There is just something shocking about bleeding with a knife in your arm, and smelling the breath of the guy trying to kill you, while trying to fall back on your training.

I've killed people. I've never had a problem with that. It's not something I'm proud of. I wish I wasn't put in that position. I'm not one of those lunatics that puts notches in the stock of my weapon. But frankly, I think if you gear up for war, you're accepting that you might die. I might have pulled the trigger, but it takes two to dance that dance.

I've done everything my shrinks have said to do. They've said I have a good outlook on my situation. But they think I might be that small subset that doesn't ever get better.

That's not to say that my life is over. From the outside, I have a pretty normal looking life. However, it takes a lot of work, every day. Acting like PTSD has a simple fix in 100% of situations is just asinine.

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