Thank you for sharing your story. I think every situation is different, and even people with BPD are different from each other (upbringing, traumas, religious/world views, etc). All that being said, I do believe there are common relationship behaviors that many people with BPD will exhibit. I was in a relationship with a man who had BPD, and I can honestly say that the trauma he put me through was worse than the trauma of being abandoned by my parents as a child. There’s something about the incessant, obsessive behavior that just rips you apart from the inside out. You become a shell of who you were before you met that person. You struggle to have a sense of identity because that person forced you to fit their mold. You become extremely insecure because that person made you think that everything you do is wrong.

I didn’t cheat in that relationship, but by the time I was done… like actually done, I moved on quickly. Because emotionally, I had checked out a year before I physically left. This is not to justify what Andrew did, but I can guarantee that he checked out of the relationship a LONG time ago. He should have physically left as well, before it got to the point of cheating.

Either way, we are still missing a lot of information because we don’t know all the details of their relationship. All I know is, it was clearly time for them to go their separate ways and end the toxicity.