I'd expect someone who actually is gay to not care so much and get in relationships BUT hide them from their relatives as he is afraid he wont be accepted.

The thing is though, now that i told you this you will start saying 'Do i want a relationship and hide it?' First you wont be sure or maybe say straight up no. But you don't know 100% sure so you'll keep asking it untill you are really not sure anymore and think that you are gay because you don't know it for sure. Then you'll go ahead and google to find out if it's normal and stumble upon someone else giving reassurance and the cycle repeats.

Welcome to OCD, Sit down and take a drink, or actually don't.

Stop posting or searching. Get help from relatives and a professional and if you think that won't work for you help yourself by getting a hobby or two. But stay away from everything related to HOCD. Face your fears ma man