Jack White threw a towel into the audience.
The encore was over and he’d just wiped his sweaty white face. The Dead Weather had played a pretty good show and some lucky fan was going to get a special memento of the evening. But a towel isn’t like a plectrum, one hand catching and claimed by one fan with no dispute. You can imagine some grief over a drum stick. You can get a couple of hands on a drum stick and then you’ve got yourself a good old game of tug of war. But with a towel you’ve got four corners and all that middle part. Does it have a name? Middle of the towel?
Jack White fans are pretty obsessive and that’s what happened. Three hands that belonged to three fans who really wanted that sweaty towel. Who knows who grabbed it first, but there were more than one set of hands on it when the dust settled. After the house lights come on they usually they let you hang around a bit. Find your pals, try get a set list. Find your shoe and maybe score a plectrum off the floor that everyone else has missed. Then after 20 minutes or so they start to move you along towards the exit. And as the crowd started to thin right there in the middle of the room stood the three fans still clinging to the towel.
And then security started moving them slowly towards the exit. Past the merch stand and past the bar and the guy handing out the ticket stubs, and then out onto the footpath. How long did they stand out there do you think? So they’re on the footpath, one’s on his phone, but one hand still holding onto the towel. Who was he talking too? Maybe trying to get a mate to come down with some scissors. What the hell were they going to do?
They stood out of the footpath all night. Two of them played on their phones and sent messages to their friends, joking about these other two idiots. The third just stood there looking up the road at nothing in particular. The next morning when it was becoming clear that no-one was going to let go they decided to go grab some breakfast and talk about their predicament.
At first the atmosphere was pretty frosty, everyone evil eying each other as the waitress took their coffee orders. Why don’t you guys let go. Why don’t you let go. That sort of stuff. Being hungry and tired doesn’t help those sorts of situations either, but once they’d had a sit down and some coffee and food in their bellies they started to negotiate. At first it was all feeling each other out, how much do you really want it. How big a JW fan are you? Then some offers of cash: I’ll give you $20 dollars and so on. But not one of them was willing to let go.
Eventually conversation turned to other things and as they let their guards down they began to share a lot with each other, I guess it was the unique intimacy of the situation. Guy had just been evicted from his apartment for reasons he wasn’t willing to disclose. Rueben was looking for a new housemate at his place and Vina had just broken up with her boyfriend and was temporarily staying with her parents. Maybe the universe had plans for these three, and in it’s mysterious way had thrown them together for a reason. Why don’t you two come over and check out my place this morning? Neither Guy or Vina had anything to do that day so they agreed. Vina had three passes left on her bus ticket so they caught the 355 down Enmore Road towards Erskinville where Rueben now lived alone.
And so they moved in together. Both Vina and Guy agreed that anything was better than living with their parents. And they each got to keep their corner of Jack White’s sweaty towel. They soon worked out that traditional sleeping arrangements wouldn’t work so they dragged a couple of mattresses into the living room and made a nest. And there they slept like three spoons. Showering wasn’t a problem you would think as they already had the towel, but of course they didn’t use it in case any of Jack White’s sweat was washed away. Rueben was a gentleman and would use his free hand to hold up a larger towel that Vina could get changed behind. Guy wasn’t shy at all and would quite happily strip down in front of them.
Work on the other hand was a problem. Both Guy and Vina had retail jobs, so they had to arrange their shifts so there were no clashes. This latest about a week. Vina soon got fired from the Tree of Life where she worked because Guy keep making wise remarks to customers. He wasn’t very tolerant of hippies. And he happily quit his job stating that it wasn’t fair that Vina didn’t have to work while he did. Since Rueben worked as a freelance graphic designer from the apartment it was decided that he would provide the majority of their income until they came up with a better solution.
And eventually love blossomed. Vina said it was the best thing that ever happened to her. She and Rueben started dating and they were pretty steady for about six months. Until she caught him cheating with a girl he met at the bus stop. Vina then said it was the worst thing that ever happened to her. Things got really uncomfortable for a while when Vina slept with Guy to get back at Rueben. The bus stop girl dumped Rueben soon afterwards as according to her he had commitment issues. In a normal world you would think that after all this drama the three would have gone their separate ways, but still the power of Jack White’s sweaty towel held them together.
One day while bored and looking for something to do Guy registered them for the mission to Mars, and funnily enough they were accepted. Something about their current living arrangement appealed to Mars One. It was like they were already existing in a similar state to the difficult living environment planned for the first inhabitants of Mars. Six months later there was an official announcement and they moved to the Netherlands to began their training. There they met the fourth member of their crew, a Canadian girl named Anika. Anika wasn’t that much of a Jack White fan but she got along with the other three well enough.
Training was tough but they all applied themselves and helped each other through the three programs: technical, personal and group training. Anika and Rueben were taught to be proficient in the use and repair of all equipment in order to be able to identify and solve technical problems. Vina received extensive medical training in order to be able to treat minor and critical health problems. Guy, who a year earlier seemed childlike and irresponsible grew to become the unofficial leader of the group and kept the group functioning, guiding them through the numerous simulated missions. They worked hard towards a common goal, to take humanity to Mars and to each keep hold of their corner of Jack White’s sweaty towel.
The End.