e2: on reflection, even in the case where I'm the most idiotic, the situation is so deeply stupid that I have no idea how three people who appear from what I know to be intelligent, compassionate people got here. It's not that I want to avoid fault in the matter, it's that pointing fingers at anyone but themselves is a sign one isn't grasping this simple truth: even not finding some way to communicate how unhealthy this has been since 2001 or so is a sufficient indictment of me that I can't claim to be any less moronic.

Evidently communicating the obvious to smart, caring people is somehow below my abilities. I'm not sure I can blame either of you, because it's so simple that I don't see how I could have failed without some obvious mistake that I've completely overlooked. And no, not being extra deferent to you to the point of accepting shit that doesn't strike me as having been ran by anyone interested in evaluating the seriousness of the situation helpfully. It's not hard for people with professional experience to tell the difference between me and someone dangerous. Why even lower yourself by making an excuse like that to gain nothing?

No, it's something so dumb I'll not even be able to believe I didn't realize it. I may die of shame on the spot. It might be better to never tell me that bit.