interesting point that you only listed some of the higher tier public schools, which all definitely turn away skilled applicants that could succeed at their schools. that's not exactly a huge demerit to your academic skills, especially since you know exactly why that might've been and it wasn't really something that was in your control.

another thing is the way you measure yourself against the people you saw here on your tour. there are dozens of posts that come across this sub frequently expressing the insecurities you have about your looks, intelligence, and athleticism or whatever else!

it's pretty common to feel the way you do, so you can't be doing that bad compared to everyone else. we're all in a weird spot rn and there are plenty of other people that "don't fit in" here.

it's also extremely demoralizing and sad to put yourself down saying that it's the end or that you couldn't fight nature or that everything's already over. you're barely even at the beginning (for better or worse) and you may not even have lived life independently yet!! i hope that you can grow and find a place you feel you belong (it is out there) and that you can make peace with yourself and your skills. doing your best is all that you can really do at the end of the day, and i hope you're able to find a way to get fulfillment from that and be more forgiving to yourself!!! this may not be super convincing or anything but l really do wish you the best