You have every right to feel upset by your parents calling you derogatory names! I do think there are some boundaries you can put it place with your parents and your outside relationships. Try being on your own for a bit and doing things that make you happy that don’t involve relying on other people. I also grew up in a toxic religious household and I had to unlearn years of negative self talk and believing that what my parent said about me wasn’t true. I also struggled with alcohol dependency as a coping mechanism but distancing yourself from the depressive triggers (family, bf ) can help you on the path to self growth and healing. It’s hard but I believe in you! Wish you the best!