The mansplaining is strong. First,
(of a man) explain (something) to someone, typically a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing.
See, you don't realize that you are essentially, as a man, saying that no, it's really not that hard to be a woman in tech and then you go on to be all here is why you're right! Bit of sarcasm that I can't help but have, but; yes; ignore the studies. Specifically, this line of one of them;
Research profiled in chapter 9 shows that when women are acknowledged as successful in arenas that are considered male in character, women are less well liked and more personally derogated than are equivalently successful men
Ignore the experience you just read about, ignore the various groups dedicated to supporting Women in IT, and ignore anything that does not confirm your bias. Intended or not, it exists.
I'm a Systems Engineer. I'm also a woman. I've worked at a company with only 100 employees, I've worked at companies with 1000+, I was also a consultant for a stint. My first step out of college had everyone going, "Oh my god! A woman in Infrastructure~!?" and I left that job 9 months later because I grew to loath the constant exclamations, the ridiculous responses from "professionals" and clients about my gender. Within a week of me quitting, I received three separate text messages from co-workers asking me out on a date. Well, two ask me out on a date, one asked if I he could give me the D. I remember this being the first time I sat back and thought, "Oh my god, what did I do, what did I do, I have to go back to college, I have to get a new degree." I then went onto my second job. My boss, who had already had a sexual harassment lawsuit against him I came to find out, would send me texts at 2:00am along the lines of, "Come over in your PJs" or "Bring cigarettes to my apartment". Did I ever do anything? No. After 1 year and 2 months I GTFO'd. This is the point at which I applied to a graduate program in hopes of escaping because there was no way, at 25, I was going to spend the rest of my life like this. However, I didn't have money, I had my skills, so I went to my new job. This was the turning point, my boss? He was amazing. Never once did I feel like he treated me any differently than my coworkers, never once did my coworkers treat me any differently. I love those guys, and I don't think they know how close I was to giving up what I loved doing because I couldn't handle the people. My new job? The same. I don't have the same relationship with my coworkers, but they have never made me feel less because I was a woman.
Through all of this, you might imagine that I get to meet a lot of women in Tech. My experience? I learned it's not unheard of, or surprising thanks to some of these groups.
You say, oh, the majority of men aren't sexist. I believe that most men don't intend to be sexist, that they exist a part of a system that whether we like it or not, doesn't have women where they need to be yet. So they do it, unintentionally, but since you're not a woman, you can't feel it or see it. You don't worry that you got a job only because you're pretty. That idea never got implanted because a few men told you that your senior year of college. You don't worry that if you say something firmly that you're then perceived as bitchy. You don't understand that when I ask for a raise, I'm perceived as wanting more money. However, if you do it, you're perceived as vying for your family. You also don't know what it's like to be told over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again how you're "not like other girls" because you're interested in video games, computers, and designing systems to address modern technological issues. That somehow not being into "girl stuff" is a compliment. That's never a compliment, there's nothing wrong with "girl stuff". However, you're a part of the problem. You don't see it or experience it, so you say it's not really that big of a problem, and try to then explain to those who are victims of the problems why it's not really that big of a problem overall. You try to tell me, as a woman, that hey, it's really not that serious and for the most part everything is okay. That's the condescension. You can't speak for the experience of women. You don't mean to, I'm sure. You're not a bad person, I'm sure. Yet you do it, and you've got this huge disassociation where you don't even realize it. The Tech industry is overwhelmingly men. It can be a hostile and uncomfortable place for women to work, for a lot of reasons. Not all of them based in sexism. That isn't the large % of reason women leave Tech, I believe. I think one of the bigger reasons is that women feel like an outsider due to the lack of diversity. The field is overwhelmingly in the US white male. This lack of diversity can drive a lot of people out, because feeling like an outsider is also a problem.
However, sexism is still one of the problems, and no place better to experience it than in a male-dominated field.