We spoke earlier, I think maybe last week, using a throwaway account, and I was curious how you actually came to your understanding? It has been playing on my mind. Did you have an ego-dissolving experience or is it something you have just put together through observation? I am very intrigued as you are the first person I have come across who has an almost identical experience of reality as me: I have spoken to those who understand that the "self" is an illusion, but never anyone who attempted to find solutions to escape the suffering of the self for all perceived beings.

I looked at your post history and couldn't find any answers. I hope you don't mind me coming here to ask questions, I just wanted to pop by and pry a bit, out of curiosity. I won't take too much of your time. Great sub btw, it's a shame it isn't more popular, but I have found most people don't respond very well to the ideas you are trying to share, despite my certainty that what you are speaking of is the truest truth. I am actually quite scared to share my experience with others, because many, but not all, have either responded aggressively or made a mockery of my suggestions. I usually just have to back down or lie to get them off my back.

My own experience came through overdosing on toxic Ecstacy pills when I was a teenager, and I believe I physically died for a while, then came back to my self and body. It was the realest experience I have ever had in my ego-bound life and I came back to the "self" with a lot of realisations, of which I will list here, although they are hard to recall:

• I realised there was no "me", and that the ego-bound self is an illusion created in the physical brain. I could not be born or die because there is no "me" to be born or die. What we essentially are can't be created or destroyed, only transferred. The ego "dies", but it was never actually real in the first place.
• Everything is one. There is no distinction, only the the flesh prisons our collective energy inhabits creates this illusion. It isn't just a thought, you can literally feel your connection to everything.
• There is no "me" and "you", we are the same collective energy talking to itself, just wearing different "disguises".
• I realised free will is an illusion, since there is no self or "soul" to control anything. Things just happen the only way they can.
• The awareness outside of the self is what I labelled the "Source". It is filled with unconditional love and peace, beyond what we are capable of imagining or fully understanding through the illusory ego.
• The "Source" is our collective consciousness, from where we all come from and will return to eventually. We are already connected to it now, we just can't percieve it due to the awareness-limiting properties of the physical brain.
• I realised I was aware of the "Source" when I was a young child, but had forgotten over the years as the brain developed an ego.
• There was some kind of sadness for the suffering in the physical world from the "Source", but I think it is somehow powerless to intervene. I didn't want to call it "God" for this reason because it wasn't an all-powerful being. It was all-loving and all-knowing, but it wasn't a conspirator. There was no judgement from it, like the idea that many have of the jealous Abrahamic God, it is just pure, unconditional love. Also, it is us: we aren't seperate from it in reality, unlike the idea most have of "God" being seperate from us.

That is my best job of putting the main points of the experience into words, but it doesn't do it any justice. It is beyond words and labels, but that is my botched attempt at trying to understand and explain it. I have tried to speak to those who have had NDEs, and even some of those who have "died" and came back seem to think my suggestions are ridiculous. You are the first person I have come across who seems to get it all, or as much as we are capable of understanding as humans. I probably won't stay on reddit, for personal reasons, but I really wanted to hear your story. How did you come to your realisations?