Have I been so neglectful in my messaging that it feels that far off from our before?

Oh, pEa. You give me such fond smiles. It's not neglectful. It's the opposite of neglectful. You are being genuine you and you are responding authentically to your entire world that you are experiencing.

We know that TL isn't SL and we know that we need to keep everything balanced for our complete well-being and to have a long and healthy branch.

Our before was a Grand Prix that just can't be kept up in laps and speed and attention. If we tried to have that until GRD, it would be like driving a road car in a Grand Prix year after year. We need to drive now like a road car with times of freeway speeds and curves; times of small, curving road speeds and curved; times of neighborhood speeds and straights; and times in the parking lot or garage. We both want our now to last a good long time and be healthy so that we have it in full happiness until GRD. Yes, I can get a little wistful for the Grand Prix days, but that doesn't mean I like our now any less (I like it more for the greater strength and depth and resiliency it has) and it absolutely doesn't mean that you are neglectful in any way.

I think there was delay in my messages and therefore seeing your first good night because I got a little sidetracked by the various sail links I had found in the course of our discussion. Things like a chart of asymmetric spinnakers

I think that's wonderful. That's what I'm trying to say. I love that you are interested in and looking at those things. I support everything you are doing.

I've also been just slowing down as the night gets late sometimes.

Maybe that just comes with comfort with each other and relaxing. There is never any pressure. It's all however whenever. I meant to express it that way and I'm sorry if my words felt like I was not appreciating our now.