I hear you, I didn't learn to put on makeup and make myself look professionally presentable with my hair/clothing choices until only very recently. (And the only reason I did it is because of reading feminist studies on how women have to do this in order to be paid more/properly and advanced in their careers. My mother had been telling me to wear makeup for years and I ignored her because I thought I was good enough/pretty enough without it. It was only when the feminists started saying, "We shouldn't have to wear makeup" that I could get on board.)

In generally I think I have been hugely influenced, but it's a broader point philosophically to be honest I think that almost all of human's personality/identity is socially constructed. I think we are pack animals and almost purely nurture (there could be some genetic differences, but I think the social side of one's brain and the social malleability of one's brain is enough to by far completely overwhelm these. (This extends to many things like gender, race, IQ, how "classy" a person is, "mental illness" or even the MBTI. I don't think that any of that is innate.)

For non INTP things that are due to outside forces, when I was little everyone used to give me dolls for presents. I got sooooo many dolls. My family was in the public eye and everyone would think, "Oh we're getting Christmas gifts for the family, what shall we get for the girl ? A doll." And then somehow I got into babies, I think I thought that they were little live dolls. Everyone used to give me their baby daughters to carry around (sadly they valued the boys more than the girls, but I was fine with that since the girls were dressed up so cute in dresses and little ribbons in their hair just like a real live doll). So I used to carry around all of these babies all the time and feel special if they fell asleep while I was holding them. I guess I sort of developed the nurturing side of my personality. And that was sort of socially acceptable for a woman to be interested in children. And then the babies got older and I got older and a four or five year old was still a baby so me so it morphed into liking children. (Sometimes I think that as an INTP who thinks more theoretically children actually became easier for me to communicate with than adults at some point as a teenager. Also my father didn't want me bonding too much with adults and would do things to humiliate me in front of them, but he didn't bother if I bonded with the children because children were invisible/like nothing.)

And then I was always doing all these things for the children like making them flags to wave so they wouldn't get in trouble for being hyper and running around too much. And then I was applying my INTP creativity and analysis inventing things for them to do and trying to evaluate if it was working.

I don't think it would have ever quite gotten to this point had I been a man. I mean I don't think people would have quite so enthusiastically given me their babies and children and pushed babies and children onto me almost. I got very confident with people's children.

The thing that pretty much everyone missed is that my love for children was not about being a submissive person. It was about being non hierarchical (resisting being dominated and resisting dominating others) and also taking and loving my inner child, and remembering me as a child and caring for me in a way that I wasn't cared for. The weird thing is that I'm not the most outwardly warm person. And I'm not the most feminine woman or the most warm woman, I'm not even that in tune with people's feelings. So it's kind of unlikely that I should be like this. As is typical to INTP I'm not even likely to talk about my feelings unless I get really upset. These are not really "innately" my talents.