Okay, but you still are gonna have to wipe or rinse off all of that extra sauce and stickiness to even hold the beer normally.

Hell no. What you just described is a clear sign of weakness. You could get your ass kicked in Mexico for doing this.

The entire top of the can is also caked in the paste and spices, meaning you would have to scrape some off to even get the can open

Again. Nope. This is NOT how real Latino MEN enjoy Fiesta Botana con Cerveza, Huevón.

Cans are also not the most sterile objects to eat off of too, although that doesn't stop me from salting the rim from time to time. Those are just a few reasons off the top of my head to not eat or drink this stuff.

They clean the fucking cans during prep, germaphobic wussy!