Thank you for analysing and I must say that this confirms my thoughts about the contextual situation about mind-set during the time while typing the text.

I wanted a situational example on the range of the psychological limitation due to the emotional impact. Also how this correspond with the first analysis I got from texting on lined paper in a very strict educational context. Wich I prefer over a socializing situation.

In this case, my work is a scattered field, I work in three different hourly employment where one of the jobs is in the cultural field where I with a group of others have to work very close to build an art field in the suburbs toward children, teenagers and young adults. My role in this is very clear towards the children, but my coworkers is giving me a hard time to function properly.

They are very close and they are very normbased in how they approach the world, their life and other people. This makes me a very queer person, not just as being different in appearence but also in experience and my different orientations. So this is a very close and small group where I constantly are percieved as the ”Other”. In larger companies where my coworkers vary, the socializing situations are limited to brief moment, 30 minute lunch and five minute breaks where I can endure and have strategies to keep the wheel spinning sort of speaking.

So yes, this is a very unpleasant and unfit environment for me, not just because of my own issues but also the coworkers narrow sighted and undeveloped view of both gender, age, appearance and non educational experience wich I think is necessary in this kind of work. So instead of the organisation leader making the structure of how we interact, this is being co-developed and where my part always get in the way as being an elephant, not because I being out of knowledge or experience, but in the way how I seemingly is being percieved.

Wich causes me a lot of struggle and overwhelms me with hopelessness.