I so could have written this.

A few things:

Its hard to admit because once you do, it becomes real, and once it does you have a whole new set of problems, and they are not small.

See what progress you can make in not thinking about gender in such absolute terms. There's a lot of grey area between boy and girl that a lot of people find very comfortable to occupy.

I, too, am still figuring myself out - and holy shit it's confusing - but I've found some comfort in accepting that the only finish line here is one where I'm...well, comfortable. Attempting to rush myself to it is of little value to anyone.

I'm sure this isn't like factually true across the board, but in my talking to people the only ones I've found who can seem to relate at all to feelings I've had since early childhood are...transgender. The impression I've gotten is that if you're an adult in therapy discussing this possibility over a length of time, you pretty much have your answer already.

Anyway, this is just my experience...and I still feel very...hmm, fresh and like I have no idea what the fuck is going on so if I've said something really off-base here, I'm just ignorant, and please excuse me. I just wanted you to know that I saw you and you aren't alone.