Do you know what is really ''pathetic''? is to be at least 20 years older than you and have the same problems. You can't clean your room? i don't clean my entire house for 4 years. if i take some pictures of the interior of my house right now, you will be shocked. Imagine a man 41 years old, being eaten alive by depression, unemployed, divorced, extreme social fucking phobia (i HATE this shit. most times i can't even look people in the eyes. is impossible to me. my heart almost jump out from my breast just to go in the street), zero family - alone 24/7 the entire year - day, night, day, night... theres no ''weekend'' for me. its the same. its like live in the moon. I have in mind, that just i can solve this. But how? I can't even get up from the bed most times. Im feeling ''pathetic'' right now, just tfor writing about my ''life'' to strangers, in a fucking virtual place. Who cares? but at least this can help to show some people not so worst than me, that yes... things still can be better for you. not for me, but for you, younger than me. ask for help to your family. don't let depression install completely on you, just like happened to me. Most times i think im already dead.