Yep, me too. I gave it a go in 1.9 for an hour, came to the same conclusions you mentioned and am content to stay with 1.8.
It's just "off"; while technically superior in some ways, it feels like well-written fan fiction compared to the less polished real thing. It really shows through that a different company or group is working on it with a different vision. I don't have anything against Microsoft and I generally like their products, but the old owner and team had that intangible "it" factor that really made Minecraft click; the new team, IMO doesn't have "it." The new group is very good at what they do, the technical skills are there, their programming abilities superior, but that quirky originality and authenticity that made Minecraft what it was, it's just not there now. Maybe it's something in the water in Sweden, something about the Scandinavian experience that just doesn't translate in Seattle, I don't know, but there's something that's being written out of the game, and it's too bad.
IMO it's also more like a very similar sequel than a very changed update, due to the sheer volume of changes alongside the upending of the rhythm of gameplay (swapping the easy to ignore tedium of 'spam' swording for the difficult to ignore tedium of what combat is now). That, and the whole "you're in for a bad time until you craft diamond sword and armor," it forces (or incentivizes) the player to rush through the early and middle phases of the game to suit-up with late-game armor and sword; it's like being made to rush through dinner like it's a compulsory hot dog eating competition, which IMO isn't as enjoyable as taking one's time with it, going as fast or slow as one would prefer instead of being bum-rushed.
It seems like having several additional difficulty settings (one between "normal" and "hard" or perhaps between "easy" and "normal", and another beyond "hard") would probably be an easy way to satisfy almost everyone given the divide in the community. The sort of difficulty in "hardcore" is different than playing in the 1.9 "hard" mode; clearly there's a high demand for the 1.9 "hard" sort of difficulty that was lacking previously, so it's important that they keep this, it's just unfortunate that it came at the expense of "pre 1.9 hard" playability. Hopefully this is adjusted for in the 1.9.1 update.
The 'two hands' thing is just weird. With the numbered hotbuttons it took a microsecond single click to change items, so it's not like the old way was cumbersome or tedious (file that under "a problem that didn't need fixing"). This two handed thing is like going from writing with one hand to writing with two hands simultaneously; maybe kids' brains are more fluid for adapting to this, but I'm having a heck of a time with it. My brain is wired for switching via hotkeys, not so much for two hands. (No idea if I'm an odd case with this, just relaying my experience).
My hope is that the developers were deliberately overcalibrating with the combat changes, armor weakening, mob strength, and overall combat difficulty, hoping to get some specific feedback on just what to dial it back on. If so, I'll give 1.9.1 a chance, but if they're leaving all this as-is and moving on to other things, it's 1.8 mods for me.
It would be interesting to hear (not anecdotes but some actual numbers) of those who updated/downloaded 1.9 how many of those user accounts are still playing in 1.9 and how many went back to pre 1.9.