great do that! i was stupid enough to get their large one for a dildo and it’s hugeee like way bigger than the medium one lol but seriously don’t give up on it, i know how i feel extremely discouraged on a daily basis but you’ll get there! im currently on the 4th dilator and i also use the addiction tino dildo on the side since i wanted a suction cup dildo it’s a bit smaller in both length and girth but it’s the only suction cup dildo that is that small and that also happens to look realistic. other than that don’t hesitate to ask anything if you have any questions about my own journey or sex toys in general that might work for you since you also have vaginismus. also! definitely don’t buy any toys that are big or of “normal size” since like you said it’s not something we can use atm at least. i did end up getting the njoy pure wand since i knew id be able to fit in the small end and it’s great it feels amazing for g spot stimulation HOWEVER i don’t use it that much since it’s stainless steel and it’s kind of scary to use because when im done and ive orgasmed i clench around it really hard and then it’s a bit difficult to get it out without it hurting but im thinking pain when inserting and taking it out should go away later down the line when im more properly stretched out. oh and always always look at diameter! since our main issue is thickness and obv entering and exiting. good luck! only move on to the next dilator once you experience no pain and discomfort. don’t rush it! :)