I have had some interesting experiences with ketamine. During one infusion, I had suicidal thoughts that were not there prior. Something was telling me “just kill yourself and be done with it” and afterward I simply didn’t care enough to bother. Weird, right?

During another couple infusions my brain told me “let me show you what death feels like... see, it’s not a big deal.” Now I have no suicidal ideation AND really no fear of death. Someone could literally put a gun to my head and threaten me and my reaction would be “I’ve died before. If you want to do that, it’s going to be your problem to deal with, not mine.” It’s oddly liberating.