Nobody to share them with today. I give mental assent to the fact that God is always and forever right here with me. But in my heart I am alone today.

I'm in the middle of packing for a move, and I have no idea where I'm going.

I think I'm going to not pack, go grab something to eat, and play my guitar until I get sleepy. If you're not a guitarist, you won't understand and if you are a guitarist, you'll understand how petty and small yet how huge my issue is: My favorite guitar to play is candy apple red. My favorite color is blue. I can't just have it painted, it's a very expensive classic Tele. I really don't like the color red that much. But the second I saw her I knew something was up and the second I picked her up I knew she was mine.

In my life, any impulse purchase is always disastrous for me. However, when guitars are concerned, impulse is the only way to go. I've had my heart broken too many times by "sleeping on it" and going back the next day and it was sold. So I bought this one. She's not my color. If I won the lotto I'd only own blue or black guitars. That sounds so dumb and immature. But with age and maturity that's one of the few absolute truths about "stuff", the things of this world. I don't know anything about anything, but I know when a guitar is mine or not mine. I have a couple that are great, and the rest I just never touch. I'm going to sell them at some point.

But this one, I just wish she were blue, like me.

That sounds stupid and worldly.

I'm alone today. I'm alone every day, but today it is less avoidable than usual. I think I'm just going to play sad music on my guitar that is perfect in every way but color.